


Pretend

by Bebec



Series: Devilish One-shots [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, One Shot, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 05:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13023795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bebec/pseuds/Bebec
Summary: Sometimes... Pretending that everything is fine is not the solution. It's not necessary... Not with the right people.One-shot. POST S02E15.





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> HI :)
> 
> Here is another one-shot translated (go go Navaros XD) for you.  
> I'm busy to write the second and last part of " What the Devil needs " in french, too. So the next english part would come rather quickly as well ;) 
> 
> It's a sad one-shot, I'm warning you ! 
> 
> Music advice : " Looking for Knives " - DYAN (the last song heard in the episode 14 if you remember)
> 
> Happy reading (or not...TT)

Chloe stopped the engine, the comforting and usual throb of her car stopping quickly. A lack of cacophony that forced her to listen to her thoughts, to focus on them. She let the key in the contact, leaning gently back against the leather seat, pensive. Pensive about the reasons – which seemed quite vague – that had pushed her to drive her car so far. Not her car.  _She._  These mysterious reasons that had brought her back here. Could she talk about _reasons_  ?  

Not really... 

It was more about a  _feeling_. An unexplainable but essential need.  

Essential.  

Why?  

Chloe moved the back of her head against her seat, her eyes looking at her tormented reflection captive of the wing mirror. She pinched her lips mechanically – a gesture she couldn't help but doing when she had mixed feelings or when she was anxious, which was probably the case right now – and sighed deeply before looking through the driver's side window. She stared for a long time at the deserted entrance of the Lux, hesitant.  

Why did she come here? Did she only know it?  

Maybe. Maybe not.  

She stroked the rough surface of the wheel with her thumb, stroking in that way the need that no more left her. That uncertainty, that anger, that bitterness she'd been holding for weeks. She couldn't keep going like this.  

 _They_ couldn't keep going like this.  

She couldn't pretend anymore that everything was fine. That everything was still the same. That they both made a fresh start after these two weeks of unexplained absence.  

Pretending.  

Pretending that everything was for the best.  

 _P_ _retend..._  

Maybe Trixie was the one who brought her here... 

She had pushed her to understand that she was also pretending that everything was fine – just like her daughter. She pretended to be fine. She pretended to be able to deal with Lucifer's surprise and unexplained return in her life. She pretended that his rejection didn't hurt her at all. Pretending she had no trouble moving forward.  

And maybe that all of this was one of those times when  _" pretending "_ wasn't the solution, when  _" acting as if "_  didn't help.  

No.  

It didn't.  

She sighed again, still scrutinizing the building on her left, scrutinizing this need. She needed answers. A real answer. She needed him to clearly explain the reasons of his hasty departure. The reasons for this marriage just as hasty... 

She just needed him to explain himself.  

She needed him to sincerely try to do it, at least.  

No more verbal swerve.  

Just... a simple answer. Even if it would hurt her. Even if this reason wouldn't please her.  

She needed this.  

The detective stopped staring at the entrance of the nightclub and removed the key from the contact, quickly leaving her car before her will would become shaky and force her to turn back in the dark night. She closed the car door behind her and tightened the sides of her jacket around her before taking a slow but resolute step towards her partner's lair.  

 

** ***** ** 

 

Chloe went down the stairs to the dance floor, which was surprisingly empty at this hour. It was rare to find the nightclub so less used with various wild swinging expressions of joy. This peace – almost heavy – reminded her of the last time she'd came here. She was now on a very different state of mind. Anxiety and hope were now silenced by anger and sorrow.  

How did they get there?  

She sincerely hoped to have a semblance of answer tonight.  

The detective walked to the elevator near the bar, rubbing her hands together mechanically as anxiety began to tense her muscles. She pressed the call button, keeping slowly stroking her palms together in front of the black doors. These doors – like the wing mirror in her car – sent her back her own tormented reflection. A vision she didn't to show to her partner. Or to anyone else. A vision of a victim. She wasn't a victim.  

She was angry.  

The typical ringing pulled her out of her thoughts and she lifted her head as the doors were slowly sliding to show Amenadiel. He also seemed deeply lost in thoughts, partially turning his back to the young woman. He began to go out the elevator mechanically, only realizing the detective's presence near him after a short time. He stopped abruptly, opening his mouth to say something, surprised.  

" Chloe... 'Evening. ", he finally said, moving his hands in his pockets.  

" Evening, Amenadiel. ", she said in turn, still rubbing her hands together.  

They stared at each other for a moment, one not knowing what to say to the other. Chloe stopped rubbing her hands together to make a vague gesture toward the empty elevator.  

" I-… Is Lucifer here? ", she asked him.  

" Yes. Yes, he's upstairs. ', his brother answered almost immediately.  

Chloe nodded thoughtfully, smiling at him softly while still staring at him. She didn't really know why she was here, waiting for a  _je_ _ne_ _sais_ _quoi_  from him.  

A way-out?  

A pretext not to go up there and confront Lucifer? Not to confront her own feelings? Or rather what she pretended not to feel. Amenadiel himself seemed quite reluctant to leave her, pensive. He was looking by turns the young woman and the private elevator, a world of complicated thoughts seeming to briefly reflect in his dark irises with each now look between them. Chloe rubbed her palms together one more time, turning slowly to the elevator while casting a last intrigued look at her partner's older brother.  

" Okay... ", she whispered, pretending to enter inside it.  

" Chloe! ", Amenadiel finally called her, taking a quick step in her direction before rubbing the back of his head with one hand.  

" Yes? ", asked the detective, her hand blocking the door.  

Amenadiel opened his mouth before closing it almost immediately under the detective's intrigued look. He clearly wanted to tell her something important, but didn't seem to know how say it. Or just if he should tell her this. So Chloe waited, curious, for the words to come out at last.  

" I-... I know it didn't go as well as you both hoped. ", he began, placing his hands inside his pockets again, looking for words as well. " But... Don't be too harsh with him. He-...This situation hurts him more than you think. " 

Chloe said nothing for a moment, nodding thoughtfully. She understood what Amenadiel was trying to do. He was the oldest brother, after all. He wanted to protect Lucifer, stand up for him. A noble and understandable behavior but the detective's anger couldn't accept this impartially. She sighed softly, moving her head to the side, annoyed.  

" Well... He has a funny way to show it! ", she replied more aggressively than she wanted. " He looks rather fine with it, actually! " 

Amenadiel lowered his head as he heard her, sighed too. He lifted his head, Chloe seeing a weary smile on his face. He nodded in turn, shrugging.  

" I think we both know Lucifer enough to know he always shines in pretenses. I know he says he never lies but... being convinced we're fine, pretending that everything is fine...doesn't mean it really is. ", he said before turning around and walk away.  

Chloe frowned, puzzled. Lost with what she was feeling, with Amenadiel's speech...  

She stepped into the elevator, watching thoughtfully the doors close gently on Lucifer's brother silhouette.  

 

** ***** ** 

Chloe instinctively lifted her head by hearing the ringing as the doors opened slowly on Lucifer's penthouse.  

No white sheets.  

No darkness.  

All back to normal.  

On the surface. Only on the surface.  

She silently walked in the penthouse, the doors closing just as gently behind her preventing her from escaping cowardly. She looked at the living room without a trace of her partner's eccentric and particularly annoying presence. She was beginning to wonder where he might have been when she heard a noise of broken glass in the bedroom, a noise making her turn her head to that direction. It seemed coming from the back of the bedroom, but before the detective could make a single movement, Lucifer went down the marbled steps and headed straight for the bar. He didn't seem to notice her presence and Chloe didn't seem to let him know. She watched in silence, disturbed by the image he was giving. 

 Not an image.  

An image implied a subjective, falsified vision.  

Here...  

Now... 

Right in front of her, she had Lucifer without any mask. Stripped of this constant show.  

He finally raised his eyes and froze when he saw the young woman not far from the elevator.  

Chloe scrutinized his face, his eyes. 

She could feel there was something wrong. That he wasn't himself, he wasn't extremely happy as usual. She couldn't put her finger on what was wrong. Her partner straightened up, still holding an empty glass in his hand before putting it on the bar, staring at the detective. He gulped and tried to put a smile on his tensed face with  _elle_ _ne_ _savait_ _quoi_ :  

" Detective! To what do I owe this late pleasure? ", he exclaimed with a falsely happy tone.  

She walked hesitantly to him, advancing to the center of the dimly lit room, keeping staring at her partner from where she was standing.  

" I-I was coming for-…. ", she began hesitantly.  

She stopped talking, staring at Lucifer for a long time.  

Something was wrong. Clearly. But  _what_  ? What was he hiding from her?  

" Lucifer... Is everything okay? ", she couldn't help asking.  

Her partner let out a strangled sound with a tensed smile, a sound that was probably meant to be breezy. He did is best to look anywhere else except for the young woman, stroking absent-mindedly the glass on the bar with his fingers.  

" Why wouldn't it be? ", he replied.  

Why, indeed?  

Lucifer forced himself to smile as he began to talk as naturally as possible – under the young woman's puzzled stare – his mind about private schools and the parents too ambitious about their offspring. Chloe was only half-listening his speech, her entire attention focused with the intense watching of her partner's behavior.  

The agitation in each of his gestures, his shifty eyes, his hoarse voice...  

She kept walking towards him, lulled by Lucifer's words, persisting in finding what was wrong with him.  

And she finally did.  

His eyes.  

It was his eyes.  

His eyes usually shining with a gleam peculiar to his unbearable energy. This gleam that was no longer here.  

His eyes.  

His bloodshot, wet eyes. 

His eyes... His both abysses betraying him.  

His eyes showing this pain, a pain unbearable to see, to live with...  

It was at that precise moment... before her eyes... At that moment that Chloe finally understood.  

Lucifer turned completely to her, showing his eternal forced smile. A smile fading quickly from his face as the young woman took him in her arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face against it, her partner instantly tensing with the touch of her body against his. He kept his arms stubbornly away from her, confused by this turn of events. By this unexpected proximity.  

" Detective? Wh-…? ", he stammered, disturbed.  

Chloe just tightened her grip around his neck, whispering to his ear:  

" You don't have to pretend with me, Lucifer... You don't need to pretend that everything is fine while I'm here. I'm here for you... That's what friends are used to do, right? ", she told him, smiling softly in this embrace.  

Yes, she finally understood.  

She finally realized it. She finally felt this pain eating up Lucifer. This pain only visible through his dark eyes, through this tensed face with marbled skin by some ephemeral traces of expressive hurt. Something he was hiding from her so skillfully for weeks. That he was hiding from everyone. 

 This eternal action- pretending that everything was fine.  

Slowly – almost timidly -, Lucifer's hands stroked gently the detective's waist to then forcefully trapped her with his strong arms. A strength imbued with despair that affected her deeply. Lucifer buried his face in her neck, his tensed body trembling against hers. Chloe tightened her embrace around his shoulders, stroking his hairline with her fingertips, Lucifer holding somehow a sob against the detective's skin.  

They remained like this.  

Holding each other in their arms.  

Sharing the pain of the other. Losing themselves into it.  

Just stopping to...  _pretend_.  

 

 **THE END**  

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to reading me again :)
> 
> Let a little kudos or comment if you liked this one-shot ! 
> 
> Bye bye !


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